Sometimes I think I don't think like the average human being. I can even surprise myself with my detached sort of hyper-practical way of evaluating things. It makes it difficult to understand simple human interactions that have an ultimately functional purpose.
I can, oddly enough, relate/empathize with emotions. I don't like talking about them but I do feel them, and when people say what they are feeling I can typically understand exactly why that is and how they reached that point and what other subconscious things they are also feeling.
Where I fail is when emotion and practicality merge. Example: I am moving into a place with a friend. It turns out that the bedrooms in the apartment are drastically different in size. In principle, I don't mind having the smaller bedroom and would normally without hesitation take it sans complaint. Once we determined that I had a larger bed, however, it seemed obvious to me that I should get the larger one - based solely on the fact that with a larger bed I would be more inconvenience by the small room. Plus my desk wouldn't fit. I know other people don't believe me, but in situations like this I actually become purely objective. I don't like stacking the odds to favour me, but if the objective facts line up that way then I can't argue with them.
My future roommate was really upset by all this. Seriously, there were almost tears. Even though some part of her had to know she was being selfish, she kept pushing to keep the bigger room, even to the point of suggesting I buy a new smaller desk to make things fit.
As much as I could see it was upsetting her, it was unthinkable to me that the person with the smaller bed and smaller desk would get the bigger room just because she wanted it. Completely illogical. I was incapable of incorporating the subjective evidence in the face of the objective.
Then, I find out that she actually also has a queen bed. That changed everything. Suddenly we were on completely equal ground in terms of who should objectively get the room. At this point I considered the subjective and figured since I wasn't to the point of tears about it that I would man up and go for the small room. Which is still ultimately an objective decision.
Maybe this is all ridiculous. But I can't help but observe, and be fascinated by, my own computer-like thinking process. And feel totally alienated because I can't fathom her more human, emotional approach. To me, objectivity seems fair. It doesn't place value on things arbitrarily. I'm still bothered when I think of the whole situation because she automatically assumed that somehow she deserved the room more than me, or should just get it no matter what, based on nothing in particular.
I don't think this is a sign of us not working out as roommates. I am taking the smaller room but I measured some stuff and have come up with a decent room configuration. Her selfishness is a bit troubling, but I consider it a fluke. I think that living with me will be good for her and hopefully I can teach her a bit about life, make her chill out a bit.
Ha, so there you have it. The condescending robot is moving in with the emotional child. The hilarious sitcom practically writes itself.
Right! The purpose of this post. It got me thinking about our definition of cyborgs. We often see robots imbued with human emotion, or cyborgs whose cyborgity is based on their physical makeup. Can a human being be thought of as a cyborg in relation to how they think? The more we use computers the more "computerized" our thought process becomes. If a human thinks ultimately on a purely quantitative level, could we not call them a cyborg? Isn't the way we think and perceive the world the most important thing about us?
1 comment:
I can relate to this so much.
My mind works more like a compute,r then a human being. I feel like a cyborg, except I have no metal parts, lol.
I have programmed my mind to be like that, and it has helped me become more advanced in different ways. I think it suits me, because I am usually seen as socially awkward (I have Asperger's; a high functioning level of Autism), so I usually don't fit well into social situations. Some things people do and say are confusing to me, because a lot of my stuff is based on logic. That doesn't mean, I can't understand sarcasm, jokes and other social cues.
Unless I'm with someone, I know, The usually I act myself around them. I enjoy acting like a robot, because, I can easily do that, then try to be normal (like everyone else). People are going to see me as awkward anyway, so why not be a little more awkward and enjoy it at the same time?
As you probably have guessed, I have seen the Terminator movies, and I admire Arnold Schwarzenegger's character as the terminator (Especially from Terminator 2: Judgment Day). He is a little awkward when you see him in social sittings (in the movie), because where's he's a computer/cyborg, he is programmed to act like a human being, and does this well (for being what he is). I hope some of that makes sense. The way I think, is a lot like you described in your post.
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